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Le Consentement

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Depuis tant d’années, je tourne en rond dans ma cage, mes rêves sont peuplés de meurtres et de vengeance. Jusqu’au jour où la solution se présente enfin, là, sous mes yeux, comme une évidence : prendre le chasseur à son propre piège, l’enfermer dans un livre.
   


Depuis l’enfance, ce sont les livres qui me tiennent lieu de frères et soeurs, de compagnons de route, de tuteurs et d’amis.
   


Je viens de fêter mes quatorze ans. Il en a bientôt cinquante. Et alors ?
   


Le temps s’étire, et c’est les joues en feu, les lèvres et le coeur gonflés d’une joie inédite, que je reviens chez moi.
   


Avec dévouement, il me propose dans la foulée une légère incision sous anesthésie locale, qui me permettra d’accéder enfin aux joies du sexe.
   


Je ne sais si on peut dans ce cas parler de viol médical ou d’acte barbare. Mais quoi qu’il en soit, c’est bien sous le coup – habile et indolore – d’un bistouri en inox, que je deviens enfin une femme.
   


Et écrire, eh bien, ça peut paraître idiot, mais ça commence par s’asseoir, et puis... écrire. Tous les jours. Sans déroger.
   


Quand personne ne s’étonne de ma situation, j’ai tout de meme l’intuition que le monde autour de moi ne tourne pas rond.
   


Je tente immédiatement de refouler cette idée. Mais le venin est entré, et il commence à se répandre.
   


Le sortilège se dissipe. Il était temps. Mais aucun prince charmant ne vient à mon secours pour trancher la jungle de lianes qui me retient encore au royaume des ténèbres.
   


Tandis que les mots se détachent de leur support pour venir m’encercler telle une nuée de démons, tout l’univers s’écroule autour de moi, les meubles de la chambre ne sont plus que ruines fumantes, des cendres flottent dans l’air devenu irrespirable.
   


Chaque fois, la révélation se soldera par une rupture. Personne n’aime les jouets cassés.
   


J’aurai quatorze ans pour la vie. C’est écrit.
   


C’est l’homme que j’aime qui m’en a finalement convaincue. Parce qu’écrire, c’était redevenir le sujet de ma propre histoire. Une histoire qui m’avait été confisquée depuis trop longtemps.
   

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Ubuesque
By Jack Anderson on June 9, 2020
 7

THE CONSENT
When I was young, I imagined that rapes were committed by evil men hiding behind bushes. I pictured pedophiles as monsters that crawl into the rooms of little girls in the middle of the night to abuse them. In many movies and series, the police would investigate and discover these evil and deviant men.
But as I grew older, I started to learn that abuse is not such a black and white story. Everything is mixed. The bad guys think there are the victims. The victims often are seen as abusing and no one knows anything. That is where the story of Le Consentement starts.
Vanessa Springora tells her story as a child, when she met a relatively famous French writer. She is 14, he is 50. She doesn’t find herself attractive, she suffers from a father that has abandoned her and, suddenly, falls for an old man that manipulates her into his bed. When he cannot penetrates her because of her hymen, he simply puts her on her belly and sodomizes her. And when you’d imagine that society would help this little girl, things get actually much worse.

THE GROTESQUE
Not only this poor girl is being manipulated, but no one helps her. This is where the story becomes grotesque. Her own mother would invite the man to the family table. Friends of the family would even tell Vanessa to keep up with it and trying to make her realize how lucky she is to share the life of such a talented artist. And this made me think of the Michael Jackson story, a talented artist (no one denies that), that groomed little boys into having sex with them, by making them feel important, and manipulating even the family of the boys. This is the most frustrating part. You’d expect that someone would simply call the police and make the relationship stop, but even the police doesn’t really care about it. This is a story of nobody caring. And as the little girl grows older, she is faced with only demons. And since nobody helped her before, no one now has a manual on how to deal with things.

THE PREDATOR
The man that abused Vanessa is named Gabriel Matzneff, and yes, he is a pedophile. One word is absent for most of the story: pedophilia. The so-called artist would be invited on national television and share his love for children. This seems impossible but that was the reality. Many of his books would tell the story on how he abused children. And no one said anything. I cannot grasp the frustration that Springora must have felt for most of her life. I hope that in many ways, her book and the aftermath of its release provided her solace and a kind of impossible closure.
Once again, the reality is much crazier than fiction.

THE SILENT ACCOMPLICES
But the grotesque doesn't end there, the tragedy keeps ongoing. In the very small Parisian underworld (le petit milieu parisien), many knew. But not only that, many were impressed by the so-called work from Matzneff and would find pleasure in reading his published diaries.

THE BOOK
The book itself is extremely powerful. I devoured it in three days and strongly recommend to anyone that wishes to understand the cynical ways of grooming. And you can see that Vanessa is an editor. She knows her stuff and writes with a very concise style that I highly appreciated. This seemed to me that she found the perfect of ways to reply to G., by writing. And I haven’t read the work from Matzneff, but I’m quite sure that she surpassed him by her honesty. Anyone using literature to inflate his or her ego has not understood what literature is about.

VERDICT

I give it 7 out of 10. Excellent.




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