- Elsie (the cow)
- Jerry, aka Shalom (the pig)
- Tom (the turkey)
- Joe (the camel)
- The difference in mind between man and the higher animals, great as it is, certainly is one of degree and not of kind. (Charles Darwin)
- Most people think cows can't think. Hello.
- Now personally, I think it's a little weird to drink another animal's milk. You don't see me walking up to some human lady who just gave birth, saying, "Yo, can I get a taste?"
- Give me a moment as I think about my mother. Feelings come and go, unless you don't feel them. Then they stay, and hurt, and grow pear-shaped and weird. So when we cows have a feeling, we feel it, till the feeling passes. Then we moo-ve on. Boom. Didn't see that coming, did you?
- I recall the days of my childhood through the green grass-colored lens of nostalgia. It all seems so far away and so perfect. Every day a sunny day, even the rainy ones.
- And see how that whole scene was kinda written in what's called "screenplay form"? My editor loves that stuff. Big-shot Hollywood producers take note, this practically shoots itself.
- Selfies, they call 'em, and that makes sens 'cause even though they're sending these pictures to others, it still smells like selfish to me. Is that why they call it an "I phone"? 'Cause it's all about me me me.
- "One small step for cow, one giant leap for cowkind..."
- "Don't hate. Hate is like a poison you make for your enemy that you end up swallowing yourself."
- Do you know I love you to the nth degree?
- Jerry: It's a long story, some say the greatest story ever told, but basically, Jews are Christians with longer sideburns. And a better sense of humor.
- Elsie: You're a bird that can't fly. You're an oxymoron.
- Why is it that when we're leaving something is the moment we most appreciate it?
- But I had to go. When I turned, the pig was looking at me. And he said, "It's hard to leave anywhere. Even if the place sucked. It's hard to leave anywhere at all."
- There is something in man that loves a wall, but what wall menders and fence builders do not get is that when they fence something out, they are also fencing themselves in. Not one but two prisons are made by one wall.
By Jack Anderson on November 4, 2017
| LOL funny
By Muldersgram on November 6, 2017
| Funny and more
By Gruic on April 20, 2018
No pictures in the gallery.